Vite di Madri-Emma Fenu

cupori

La maternità un legame trasversale che passa per un cordone. Un filo spesso e robusto fatto di cellule al cui interno fluisce la vita. Sangue, ossigeno e materie nutritive. Il cordone viene reciso alla nascita. Il suo taglio, il definitivo distacco dalla madre avviene in sala parto. Il legame si spezza. Quello fisico, di dipendenza. Per il neonato arriva una nuova fase. Imparare a vivere fuori dalla madre. Il pianto, il primo vagito a un destino ancora tutto da scoprire. E madre e figlio si incontrano per la prima volta. E’ stupore, meraviglia.

Ma avevo vinto la corsa stavolta, la linea rosa apparsa sul test, che stringevo fra le mani, irrorandolo di lacrime, era il traguardo tagliato, il segno, visibile, della mia vittoria”.

E se diventare madri fosse un bisogno? O il drin di una sveglia chiamato orologio biologico? O fosse qualcosa di diverso? Ho sempre pensato al mio essere madre. Al mio esserlo ancor prima di diventarlo davvero.

Emma Fenu, nel suo libro, già nell’immagine ce le mostre tutte le madri. Una grande che tiene le sue copie in braccio. Perché essere madre è anche essere figlia, è essere madre di se stesse. E’ essere madre del senso di colpa che si genera intorno all’impossibilità di esserlo.

Dodici storie, ognuna corredata da brani di libri famosi la cui partitura è un piccolo concerto. Volevo saperne di più di queste storie. Avrei voluto leggere storie più lunghe, immergermi fino in fondo al dolore o alla gioia. I racconti sono però brevi, lasciano il tempo della riflessione. Perché essere madre è anche fermarsi a pensare.

Essere madre va oltre. Il cordone non viene mai reciso del tutto, rimane un filo invisibile che si allunga o si accorcia a seconda dei momenti. Non c’è separazione. Anche quando i bambini non nascono e piangono, anche quando i bambini si addormentano nell’utero. Anche quando i bambini rimangono un’idea nel corpo della madre che non si materializza. Emma Fenu ci ha presentato così le “sue donne”, segnate dalla maternità nel senso più aspeciale del termine.

Ma la malattia psichiatrica di mia madre ha abortito gli anni della mia infanzia”.

Dove la madre può non essere biologica, può vivere solo nella fantasia, può essere la vita stessa. E per tutto le storie quello che ricaviamo è un risultato preciso come da un’equazione. Il termine vita.

Anche chi non sarà mai madre può capirle?

Forse è propri chi non stringerà il proprio figlio a sé che condivide questo percorso. Può essere una scelta personale o uno strano graffio del destino ma c’è chi madre lo è lo stesso. Perché la madre genera dal nulla un proprio mondofiglio. E lo nutre, lo fagocita e lo rende visibile agli altri. Le madri creano. Artiste del tempo e dell’ascolto.

Eppure il dolore si insinua nelle crepe dei muri , se pur di pietra spessa, come edera velenosa”.

Mi piace pensare la Madre come un albero che sa accogliere il vento, arginare la frana, perdere le foglie, mettere radici e far scorrere la linfa. Madre che sa accogliere l’estate e l’inverno rimanendo in piedi. Madre di ogni sfumatura e di ogni colore.

Sandra-Bongarzone__L-albero-della-vita_g

L’albero della vita (Sandra Bongarzone)

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