Lo spazio bianco di Valeria Parrella

lo-spazio-bianco-di-valeria-parrella“Lo spazio bianco”, libro di Valeria Parrella, pubblicato dalla casa editrice Einaudi, è il racconto di una donna, Maria, professoressa di una scuola serale, che a quarantanni, sola e senza avere nessun appoggio, partorisce una bambina prematura.

In quel momento Maria percepisce lo spazio che occupava la bimba dentro di sé. Come se lo spazio intorno alla pancia fosse una protezione anche per lei. Irene la sua piccola bambina finisce nell’incubatrice e Maria si ritrova nelle ore di visita a dover affrontare quello spazio che non è più carne e sangue ma che è diventato vetro. Uno spazio nuovo, trasparente i cui confini posso cambiare in ogni momento. Irene potrebbe non farcela, Irene potrebbe non arrivare mai nelle sua braccia.

“Andavamo per prove ed errori. La dottoressa chiamava una madre e le annunciava che, dopo aver ridotto con gradualità la percentuale di ossigeno, avrebbero tentato di staccare il bambino dalla macchina, dargli autonomia di respiro. Era il momento che tutti aspettavamo, la seconda possibilità, il secondo parto.”

L’autrice riesce a trasmettere il senso del tempo attraverso i tantissimi dubbi di Maria. Il tempo con la sua composizione strana scorre, ma lo fa con un suo ritmo. Irene è ferma eppure il mondo continua a girare per Maria in una maniera che lei non si aspettava o non aveva previsto. Sognare il futuro, e poi vederlo cadere pezzetto dopo pezzetto. O si ha il coraggio di sognare di nuovo o si raccoglie quel condizionale che dopo fa male. Prende un altro significato.

“Dal camice usciva lo stesso vestito per giorni. Perché quello che lasciavo a sera sul bordo del letto vuoto era più facile a prendersi il giorno dopo.”

Una volta che vedi tuo figlio per quanto piccolo sia, la vita di un madre cambia, e si mette nelle mani di un destino che se fino a quel momento aveva in qualche modo scorto dalla finestra, ora si ritrova a guardarlo dall’ultimo piano di un grattacielo. Non esistono più certezze, esiste solo lo spazio trasparente tra Maria e Irene e in quello spazio si costruisce un altro futuro. Diverso.

 Quello che ho trovato di una bellezza semplice è il finale. Circonda la storia dando un senso al titolo. Lo spazio bianco.

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