goebel_rosina-5Alternava il ricordo alla sopravvivenza. Si vestiva con garbo, nella borsetta aveva sempre le pillole di riserva per la pressione , il carrello della spesa era appoggiato al muro dell’ingresso sopra un giornale per non sporcare il pavimento. Da quando era morto suo marito, la luce che aveva negli occhi si era spenta. Non si guardava che di sfuggita allo specchio per non leggere sempre le stesse lacrime. Si chiedeva perché lui e non lei. In fondo era stanca di cucinare, lavare, pulire. Infarto e via. Non aveva avuto neanche il tempo di salutarlo, era uscita a comprare della carne e quando era tornata era troppo tardi. Avevano chiuso la bara e non era arrivata a festeggiare le nozze d’oro. Poi c’era quel viaggio che programmavano da tempo e che rimandavano ogni anno. Non avevano figli, ma era sempre la stessa storia. Pigrizia e una volta l’anca della cognata, una volta la polmonite della sorella. I nipoti grandi che si appoggiavano da lei. La suocera ormai ridotta su una sedia che ancora comandava. Ora il dépliant del viaggio era vicino alla foto del matrimonio. Quella grande sul comò. Aveva uno strascico lungo legato sulla nuca insieme a una cascata di roselline bianche. Sorrideva. Non le era sembrato di essere così felice. Il ricordo smussava gli angoli, il dolore, le cose tristi si trasformavano in malinconia. Dopo il funerale era tornata a casa e aveva cucinato il baccalà con i pomodorino. Apparecchiato per due e conversato come se lui fosse lì. Il baccalà era venuto salato così mise tutto nella carta stagnola e lo portò ai gatti. Le correvano incontro perché avevano fame, ma quando cercava di accarezzarli dopo, scappavano. Erano forastici e opportunisti. Si sarebbe presa invece un bel gatto pacioccone e l’avrebbe chiamato Gastone, come suo marito. Un gatto rosso dagli occhi versi.

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